Is There Any Peace in the Valley?

Sam Jackson is dreaming again. Sometimes the dreams are comforting. He sees his mother, the late Ruthie Mae Jackson, as all six children like to remember her - cooking a big holiday dinner, hugging her grandchildren or taking a needy stranger into her home.
Other times, the dreams aren't as soothing. He's at his mother's funeral or, as in one instance, she appears to him in the dream, revealing the identity of the person who murdered her in her Dothan home on Easter Sunday in 1996.
The dreams, along with the grief and anger, seem to intensify for the Jackson family during the holidays. Their mother's killer, who remains at large more than a year after the slaying, cast an overwhelmingly dark cloud on at least three holidays for the Jackson family - Easter, Mother's Day and Ruthie Mae Jackson's birthday, Christmas Day.
"Christmas is my mother's birthday and it is a sad time," Jackson said. "Because someone took her life, Christmas just doesn't seem like Christmas. We can't tell Mom happy birthday. We can't tell her we love her. We can't give her a present.
"When we got sick, she was there to nurse us. Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter are sad times because someone took her life."
Mrs. Jackson, 73, was preparing her Easter Sunday meal in her 1403 E. Adams St., home on April 7, 1996 and had planned to join her daughter Shirley for worship services. Shirley Jackson was waiting on her mother to call her that day, but says "My mama hasn't called me yet."
The Jacksons - Bobby, Early, James (and wife Patricia), Sam Selma and Shirley - live together in a cluster of houses in the Helen community where they were reared by Mrs. Jackson and her former husband Sam. But holidays have not been the same since the murder.
This past Thanksgiving was the first holiday they celebrated together without the family's matriarch. Although the brothers and sisters have drawn strength from each other through the whole ordeal, there were some painfully difficult moments.
"Thanksgiving really got to be bad," Early Jackson said. "Especially when Shirley said, 'Somebody's got to get cooking good like Mama.'"
"I haven't had good food since my mother's been gone," Shirley Jackson said. "We try not to talk about Mama as much and just maintain each other's comfort, even though we know each other's mind is on her."
Dothan Police Department investigators believe Mrs. Jackson's killer was someone she knew and that someone in the neighborhood knows something about the homicide, but have not been able to get anyone to talk. However, Lt. David Kirkland said new information has surfaced that is being investigated.
"We have followed up on every lead that anybody has brought to our attention," Kirkland said. "We're off in another direction right now. We've got what we consider to be some good information. We don't know that it will turn out, but we are pursuing it vigorously.
"This homicide case is like all of our other unsolved homicide cases. They always remain open and assigned to someone. These cases are always on our minds."
Shirley's sister, Selma Jackson, says knowing there are other families who have experienced a similar loss has been one source of comfort. More than 50 people are murdered nationwide each day, which means someone is slain every half hour, according to the Alabama Crime Victims Compensation Commission.
Survivors of homicide victims typically experience a range of emotions, such as shock, anger, sleeping and eating problems, depression and suicidal thoughts, flashbacks and nightmares, guilt and shame, and fantasies of revenge.
One might expect families to pull together when a member is murdered, but that isn't always the case. Families of homicide victims often separate physically and emotionally to avoid talking about their loss.
The Jacksons' Christmas plans are uncertain, but one thing they know is their mother would want her family to remain close, so they're sticking together.
And when they're together, they may not always say the words, but they're all thinking of the person Ruthie Mae Jackson was.
They remember the mother who beamed any time any of her children gave her a gift on Christmas, which also doubled as a birthday. She was especially proud of the stove given to her about five years ago, the same stove that held the last meal she cooked on that fateful Easter Sunday morning.
They remember the phone calls to wish her Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas and the sharing of recipes with her daughters. But mostly they remember Ruthie Mae Jackson as the consummate good Samaritan. Ruthie Mae Jackson saw people much like she looked at her flowers - "She loved them all," Shirley Jackson said.
And her family can't help but think the last person she tried to help just might have seen her killer.
"She would take in anybody who needed a place to stay," Selma Jackson said.
"On Christmas Day, she feeds everybody. Strangers would come in and she didn't ask no questions, just fixes them a plate and feeds them. The one that killed her was probably one that she fed or let in that night."
Holidays only intensify the family's sense of loss. There is no closure. There's not even a sense of safety because they don't know if they may be associating with the murderer.
"I stay here alone," Selma Jackson said. "At night, I used to walk outside, but that person could be watching me now. I used to like to have my curtains open. Now I close them. Maybe he's watching me.
"When I go out driving by myself, I want to be home before dark. You can't trust a stranger because the one you're talking to might be the one who killed her."