Confessions of a Recovering Addict

If Danny Jones needed a daily reminder of the destructiveness of addiction, he needs only glance at the photograph of his daughter on his office wall.
Addiction to drugs and alcohol took his relationship with his ex-wife and daughters; sobriety helped him get it back.
“You don’t have to sit around to wonder where an addiction or where alcoholism can lead you,” said Jones, Houston County Substance Abuse Partnership outreach coordinator “I know where it leads. I’ve seen it. It happened to me, and it was only the grace of God that kept me alive long enough for me to have that moment of clarity and really see the hopelessness in my life.”
The 39-year-old has always been open about his past because he knows addicts will pay more attention to a recovering addict that someone who hasn’t been down that road.
Jones, who has used his experience with addiction to counsel others at The Anchor (Adolescents Needing Care, Help and Other Reassurance), plans to attend Florida State University in a couple of months to pursue a degree in social work.
He would like to be like the guy who first inspired him on the road to sobriety. He told Jones, who was at The Haven for treatment of his addiction problem, that he could make it. But it wasn’t just what the recovering addict said that got Jones’ attention.
“I remember I saw something about the way he moved, the way he talked,” Jones said. “He told me a little about himself, and I couldn’t understand how he could have done some of the things he had done and become a counselor and still have that spirit about him.
“There was something about him that was different from everything I had ever seen. After he elaborated on his life and the way things were for him and the tragedies in his addiction, I could relate to that.
“And then he looked at me and said I didn’t have to ever drink again if I didn’t want to.”
The seeds of addiction were planted early in Jones’ life. He spent his childhood in both Dothan and Bridgeport, Conn., when his tumultuous relationship with his father sent him to live with his sister.
Five of the eight children developed addiction problems, and one of Jones’ six sisters was killed in a drug-related incident in 1989.
Jones smoked his first marijuana cigarette at the age of 6.
“One of my peers used to work at the store, and I remember him pulling out a rogue cigarette,” he said. “In my mind, I though if he was smoking it, it was OK for me to smoke it.
“I don’t remember having any consequences behind it. I didn’t get caught or get into any trouble.”
By the time Jones became a teenager, he was hanging out with his older cousins in Dothan. They drank hard wine and beer, and in his mind, there was nothing to it.
“When my older cousin would pick me up in his big car every Sunday morning, the first thing he would do was offer me a beer and a joint,” Jones said. “They were role models to me. I felt like they were showing me how I was supposed to be.
“That’s when the drinking really started. I drank alcoholically at 13 or 14 years old. I wasn’t old enough to make that choice. I thought you were supposed to get sick.
“They would say, ‘You know that little guy? He can really drink.’ The more they said that, the more I drank because I wanted to be accepted. It’s real sad looking back on it today because I looked up at these guys. But I’m not blaming them or anything because that was probably the way they were raised, and it was passed down from generation to generation. I don’t blame any of these people for my addiction because I still had a choice, even at the age of 6.”
But from there, Jones began experimenting with other drugs. When he returned to Dothan from Connecticut in 1978, he tried cocaine.
There were a number of arrests, and he eventually reached a point where drugs destroyed many of Jones’ most precious relationships, including his marriage.
Then, in 1992, came the moment of clarity recovering addicts point to as the beginning of their new life.
“I remember going out and doing the things that addicted people do, and I came home that night crying,” Jones said. “For the first time in my life, I saw the truth. For the first time in my life, I told someone I was afraid. I told my ex-wife.”
Jones stayed at The Haven for 28 days and then continued his recovery in 12-step groups. He’s been sober for almost seven years. But at first, even the peace that sobriety offers was a shock to his system.
“I was so used to chaos all the time,” he said. “Then, as I began working on a 12-step program, things started to change in my life, and I had a totally different outlook on life.
“I started experiencing some peace of mind, some serenity. I wasn’t looking over my shoulders. I went back and made amends to all the people I had wronged, the people I took from, I paid them back and tried to reconstruct my life.”
Among those people were his 19 and 14-year-old daughters, with whom he said he has “one of the greatest relationships” with today.
Even as Jones prepares himself to leave his job, he’s grateful to the man who gave him the chance when many were turning their backs on him. David Morales, Houston County Substance Abuse Board executive director, saw something in Jones that he could use to reach other addicts who would only listen to someone who had walked down the same road they were walking.
“When Danny came to me, he was at risk,” Morales said. “He was a black male who had been in jail, so he didn’t have the trust of people in the community. But everybody has some value – our job is to find that value and push them forward.
“I’m a social worker who has hired ex-felons; that’s my philosophy, especially someone like Danny who can be valuable, if he’s trainable and workable. I monitored him and worked with his attitude, which was really heavy and down and out, which was typical with many in his scenario.
“A lot of people came in, who were hurting like he was hurting, and Danny had a quality that was unique. He felt their pain. I tapped that and put him to work immediately.”
No matter how painful his years of addiction were for him, Jones said he has no regrets – because it got him where he is today. He plans to write an autobiography after he earns his degree.
“Somebody asked me what would I do if I had the opportunity to live my life over again,” Jones said. “Today, I have that opportunity. This is my second life. It was my first life that made me who I am today, and because of it, I can understand, be sympathetic with the people who have this same problem.
“Just like that guy I first met when I was in that treatment center, I can have the same impact on other people’s lives.”